- ISBN13: 9781576839546
- Condition: NEW
- Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
Product Description
This parenting book shows you how to raise self-confident, motivated children who are ready for the real world. Learn how to parent effectively while teaching your children responsibility, and you'll establish healthy control without anger, threats, nagging, or power struggles. Indexed for easy reference.
Tags: parenting with love and logic, Logic, parenting book, Love....., remainder mark, real world
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Every chapter in the book starts with a scripture in Proverbs. The author’s insight into parenting issues is likely inspired by God and yet they turn away from one of the main training tools for rebellious behavior supported by Scripture. This tool is chastisement or spanking. (Please note that I am not talking about spanking for all disruptive or maladaptive behavior but behavior that manifests itself as rebellion).
The author’s allege that “empathy and logical consequences are more powerful than spanking, because they teach problem solving skills.” I disagree with this quote. I would say that chastisement with empathy and logical consequences results in repentance and problem solving skills. My point is chastisement (spanking) done in love and in a logical way aligns with the Word of God. This change in position reflects a postmodern view of parenting that is contrary to scripture and probably accounts for the relatively inexplicable growth of these excellent techniques in today’s society.
The author’s state that one of the reasons they changed their position on spanking (chastisement) is because spanking fails to teach the behaviors we want. This position implies that spanking is a teaching tool. Spanking is not a teaching tool. Spanking is a punishment. Teaching is done through the use of empathy and logical consequences. This position is disingenuous.
The third point the author’s make is that “most kids would rather receive a spanking than have to think about their poor choice.” This statement is so sad. As was noted previously, spanking should not be used as a teaching tool as spanking is a punishment. Teaching occurs through the use of empathy and consequences as is masterfully explained in the book. Nevertheless, a spanking does not inhibit a child from thinking about poor choices. In fact, once repentance is demonstrated a child will logically begin to think, “how will this next decision affect me?”
The fourth point regarding the efficacy of spanking is double sad. They note “that more recent research tells us that spanking has many negative side effects, such as anger, resentment, revenge, etc.” Of course, not even a single research article is cited to support this claim. In fact, a recent article by, June 2002, entitled “A Comparison of Two Recent Reviews of Scientific Studies of Physical Punishment by Parents” contradicts the aforementioned claim and shows that “detrimental child outcomes are associated with the frequency of any disciplinary tactic, not just physical punishment. Therefore, it is the excessive misbehavior that is the actual cause of detrimental outcomes in children.”
In summary, current research suggests that any technique used to correct children has negative side effects and that misbehavior is the cause of a child’s negative responses to discipline. The tenet of this article is children negatively perceive any form of consequence for misbehavior. Wow, what a surprise!
Rating: 4 / 5
Parenting With Love And Logic
Cline and Fay offer parents practical guidelines for the high calling of raising responsible children. Some may be disappointed at their comparison of parenting children to raising dogs. This book would have been an even better parenting resource had they included a faith/spiritual perspective on parenting, passing on to our children the love of God and the discipline/training (not merely human logic) of God’s Word, the Bible. Take a look into a spirituality based parenting resource, “The Family Cloister: Benedictine Wisdom for the Home”, by David Robinson (New York: Crossroad, 2000).
Rating: 4 / 5
Parenting With Love And Logic
I bought these for my six year old daughter, she loves them. They’re good quality, especially for the money. She really likes them because they’re comfortable (and cute).
Rating: 5 / 5
Parenting With Love And Logic
While the authors have some good ideas, others are atrocious!
They advocate withholding food from kids until they get their chores done. Would they also advocate letting kids go out improperly clothed or withhold shelter? Sure, they can’t have dessert, but no food at all? Step over, Joan Crawford.
They say if the kids aren’t responsible enough to feed the pets they said they would take care of, then get rid of the pets. Animal shelters are full of pets that are the victims of such irresponsible behavior by parents. Of course the kids won’t take care of the pets properly. They are kids. Animals are living, breathing, feeling creatures. They should not be pawns in teaching children how to be responsible. All too often these poor animals are mistreated and abused because of the resentment of parents or children.
Yes, children should be taught to be responsible, but how responsible is it to withhold food from your children or toss a dog out of the house because the kids won’t take care of it properly.
Rating: 1 / 5
Parenting With Love And Logic
The American Psychological Association has issued a warning against this book and the author. The author has been banned from practicing and doing his seminars in Colorado and other states are looking into his criminal and civil law suits that are pending against him. In one case, he told a 300 pound woman to sit on her toddler child as he was having a temper tantrum. The woman ended up killing the child. The book is filled with bad advice. Previous versions of the book included how to spank your children. He has been quoted as saying, “the nerve endings of the brain are in the buttocks – that’s how you stimulate it.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t get to use any of the ideas created by a man like this.
Rating: 1 / 5
Parenting With Love And Logic